The doc says there's nothing wrong with the bone and there's no fracture but it might be some cartilage shit. Whatever it is, I want my extended MC and someway to get rid of the pain. It's sickening to have the constant pain there for almost 2 weeks already. Hinders everything. I cant even exercise and that's seriously getting on my moral. I'm getting morbidly obese and rounder when all i do is just eat and eat and there's no output at all. It's just getting on my nerves. It's frustrating.

Everything's crashing down right now. So many factors coming into play. Just to ruin my life. Why cant anything go right? You know when one thing goes right then there's that chain effect where things start to go right and then suddenly, BHAM, it all falls down at once, without any warning. Suddenly, you're left in a lurch and suddenly so alone and down. I mean, it's like just being left there to die. and to die quite rottenly.

Family, work, her, me, the rib. It's all not going right. I cant go into details cause it would be too personal and I cant do this right here. Pls just know that I need company, a lot of company. Someone to talk to me, to hear me out, to get me through this shitty time. Where the company is coming from, I dont really know.

What I do know is that I have to crawl out of the shithole I'm in. How I'm going to to do that, I dont quite know. I do know that I have to crawl out of it alone, by myself before I can let anyone come help me.

I needa get drunk. Like majorly. Like shanghai times. Get super shitfacewasted that everything just starts to float around you and you see pretty stars and birds flying around your head, telling you to stop smoking all that pot and shit that you put in your mouth and then there's the little rabbits that go hopping around in your tummy and makes you wanna puke all the time. Then there's this smith, pounding in your head, wanting to get out.

I need an escape.

I wanna be a bad boy.

Fuck you cruel world.